Except I don't want to have the target of doing things
before I die, this is a case of ASAP so it's more of a "Oh, fuck it -
list".
I have had a few visitations from the black dog lately but
my thoughts are not turned towards death but rather change; possibly change by
choice, possibly not. Either way, the past four and a half years I've been in a
state of Limbo. No, not bent backwards,
trying to maneuver under an increasingly lowered cane but rather as in the
church version used to frighten the willies off everyone and make them do as
told. My version doesn't involve dying
first, it merely involves getting so screwed financially I couldn't function
and then spending five years paying it all off and having very little spare
dosh.
Finally there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The debt management plan WILL be done this
year. I'm not going to suddenly become
mega-rich but I may have a little more wriggle room to at least think of some
of the things I want to do in life.
There follows hereafter a list of things I have in mind; some are big,
lifestyle choices, some not so big and achievable more quickly, possibly as
quickly as this year. So, here goes!
1: See Throwing Muses live.
Hopefully achievable this year as they are touring the new album pretty
soon, I hope. TM are one of my top ten
favouritest bands ever but one of the few I haven't seen live; I've seen
Kristen Hersh solo but had been resigned to missing out on TM as they had been
inactive for so long. And they have a
song called Limbo which seems most apt.
2: See Simple Minds live.
I know some may snort in derision at this one but Simple Minds were my
first favourite band, when I was 15, and I really adored them right up until I
got in to The Cure and got all poncey on myself. I still genuinely love the first six albums
released between 1979 and 1984 and have a "fondness" for the stadium
pomp stage that got me in to them in the first place. Annoyingly, Simple Minds played in Chichester
in 2006. I lived in Chichester in 2006
but had decided I didn't have any interest in seeing them. I could hear them from my kitchen
window. D'oh!
3: Ride on a train pulled by a full sized steam engine. Again, very easily achievable, there are a
few options fairly locally. I don't need
the Orient Express but a nice sunny day, a ride on the train through some
beautiful countryside and some nice food.
I'm easily pleased. I expect my fondness
for steam trains is linked to having had a Hornby train set as a child and my
predilection for all things retro and vintage.
4: Go to Italy, preferably Florence and Sienna. It's not just for the food, honest. Me ol' mucker Chaz was lucky enough to go to
these two cities with his parents and everything I've ever read about that
particular part of Italy is so evocative; I just want to be there on a mildly
sunny day eating anti-pasti, ciabatta
and olives and drinking a good local wine.
5: Have at least one
book published. My novel is under way
but needs a lot of work. I need a lot
more time than I actually have. I'm also
looking at some way of self-publishing some of my blogs but hey - I have enough
trouble getting people to read them for free!
I may have to try something more obviously comedic and this could quite
possible be the hardest item on the list to achieve.
6: Get a different
job. The thought of staying where I am
for the rest of my working life is anathema to me. I have already started
looking around but it's still not the best time to change careers and even when
debt free I can't afford too much of a salary drop. It is a shame as I do believe in the
principle of what I do; there are still those Daily Mail reading reactionaries
who believe that I my role is just a pointless waste of hard working tax
payers' money (of course I don't pay tax, do I?) but I say bollocks to them; I
don't consider their opinion worthy of argument. Sadly I don't believe that the
politicians and managers in my department have a clue what they are doing and
would rather be out of it.
7: Learn to drive. I
have been mentally scarred by the obnoxious and abusive behaviour of my first
driving instructor, I won't name him but he lives in Southbourne, West Sussex
and is a colossal wanker and a shit photographer. I don't want to say too much
about this one but I will say that it is already in my thoughts but that I am
looking at doing it in an Automatic next time as it is clearly my clutch
control that is a huge issue. If it's
good enough for the majority of drivers in the USA it's good enough for me!
8: Go to the USA. I
don't particularly mind where so long as I can go to a traditional diner and
have a burger and a shake. If the diner
could be an old style prefab or wagon type and the waitresses be dressed in 50s
garb, even better. You can thank Bill
Bryson for this one! There are many,
many things I'd like to see in the USA but a New England Fall comes quite high
up.
8: Go to a naturist resort; preferably somewhere warmer and
sunnier than England. I know some people
have an issue with my attitude to non-sexual, social nudity but I neither
encourage others to join in or to see me in that state so I don't know
why. I'd say if even the thought of
another person naked bothers you that much you have some issues there. I would
say that I can separate nudity from sex is actually one of my better qualities.
Anyhoo, I'm not going to bang on about it but a week wondering around in the
buff sounds fine to me.
9: Move from the crummy little village of Westbourne, West
Sussex to the crummy little town of Emsworth, Hampshire. Obviously much of this
depends on where I work, et cetera but yes.
I'm not keen on where I live.
Westbourne itself is a nice little village but I've never really managed
to fit in here and in almost eight years of living here I've only ever been in
one other persons house and that was the vicar. Perhaps it's me but my efforts
to fit in have never quite come together. I once had a dream; the kind of dream
where when you wake up and realise it was only a dream one is gripped by a
desperate sense of disappointment. In that dream I was living in a lovely
little cottage on a waterfront. I've
identified that since as the Mill Pond in Emsworth and though I may not get a
cottage on it somewhere near would suit me fine. Emsworth also has several nice pubs, a
butcher, a fishmonger, a greengrocer, two Indian restaurants, three Chinese
take-aways, a fish 'n' chips shop, an off licence, a bike shop,a train station
and is on a main bus route. In short,
small enough to feel homely but big enough to be able to get by without leaving
it often if needs be.
10: Act in a film or
television programme. Not as unrealistic
as you may think; I am related to someone training to be a film maker and I'd
do it for free. I'm not talking about a
starring role, just a cameo (or whatever a cameo for a not-famous person is called)
and I can carry off a little simple acting; just don't expect Meryl
Streep. And I'm willing to consider for
nude scenes if they are integral to the plot.
Failing that, I'd like to do a proper play. I did a pantomime a couple of years ago and
mostly enjoyed that so would like to stretch myself to something a little more
professional (if only in attitude rather than the strictest meaning of the
word, I don't expect to get paid!).
11: I'd like to get
together everyone who's ever humiliated or pissed me off, put them in a room
and fill it with vomit. Only joking.
Or am I?
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